jungle tales

I spent this morning at the courthouse with my niece, Pam, who was up on a few charges and was terribly afraid the powers that be were going to send her back to jail. Jail sux and it is not a place anyone wants to go and spend, say, 7 years. The DA, in her intense wisdom, thought that possession of 2 valium was criminal enough to spend 7 years in jail. Sounds fair to me..with heavy drug dealers, child molesters, murderers...you know...
"And what are you in for?"
"Murder. You?"
"um....I'd rather not say."
Can you imagine living in prison for 7 years because you had 2 valium in your possession? I think I would be in jail for life for the meds that I have transported across parking lot lines.

I found out today that it is illegal to transport or hold in your possession, any medication that is prescribed for someone else, even if you are picking up a prescription from the pharmacy for a relative (such as an under aged child who is terminally ill and in hospice care in your home). Go figure...you actually have to bring the child to the pharmacy for you to be legally able to carry the med home to him or her. It is also illegal for the pharmacist to sell that medication to you without the said person intow. Imagine the over crowding in the jails all those pharmacists would cause. ("and what are you in for?")("drug trafficking!!!!)

Go figure.

Ok..the fun part of the day was finding out that I achieved infamy in the Gwinnett County courthouse. Fourteen years ago I went to court with the same said niece. She was in front of Judge Weingarden. He is known for his unyielding stances (and being 'hard on crime'). Since Pam had no lawyer, she looked at me with pleading eyes when asked what her plea was....guilty or not, she hemmed and hawed until I raised my hand and asked to "approach the bench." The judge yelled out..."Who are you and why are you disturbing my court? Do you realize that I could hold you in contempt?" I very quietly answered, "I'd rather you not." After identifying myself as said niece's aunt, and introduced the entourage that followed me...the therapist, the boss, the doctor, the head of the alcohol recovery group....he instructed us to approach the bench. I was given permission to talk and then Judge Weingarden sent her back to jail. Fortunately he didn't send me to jail with her....I was wondering though.

Apparently I had audacity and my hand raising stunt was spread all over the courthouse and made me infamous for years! Read on to see the consequences of audacity in my jungle!

I also came home today to a bird who pretended to want attention so that I would take him out of his cage. Once on my shoulder he bit a huge hole in my shirt and then when chastized, bit the snot out of my ear. He is a bad bird and I incarcerated him for the duration of the night. Assault is a worthy crime to be jailed for.

I then enjoyed about a half hour with my uptight son insulting me. When I finally told him to be gone from my presence...he called me a fu****. I got back at him and now have custody of his car keys. I hope it rains beyond sheets tomorrow so that he can walk his ass down to the local satellite bus location to get to school. I still have power and will use it....just call me Elsa.

I love being a parent. I love my children...I do I do.

I love that I can take car keys and cause miserable inconvenience and all they have then is the audacity to call me a fu****. Audacity sux when you are a kid in my jungle. Mom rules!